28 January 2008


Everything has gone so well with this move that I think I have underestimated the upheaval.

Yes, we've moved tons of times before. Yes, moving day and settling in has been relatively easy. Yes, the children are happy and this has been a very good move for our family.

But I think that the relief and happiness regarding the above has made me forget to take some time to acknowledge the bigness of the move, and what it means for me. This weekend I had a little bit of a meltdown. My mood had been getting worse and worse over the last week, culminating in absolute wretchedness yesterday. Part of what made me so grumpy and fed-up, I think, has been denial. I've just not acknowledged that moving to a new town where I don't know anybody, a new ward, etc, plus being stuck without the car until March, leaving my friends (those who hadn't left me!) and everything familiar, was bound to be a wrench, as pleased as we were to leave Preston behind.

But settling into a new house and doing the needed bits and pieces like installing blinds and fitting storage furniture as well as unpacking isn't exactly conducive to self-indulgent periods of contemplation and pampering, as much as I might need them. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with work and the fact that I am not up and running yet (computer issues - waiting for a card and connector for my new monitor) - the bills still roll in, you know. That's the bummer about being self-employed: every day you don't work is a day you don't earn.

So this week I need to go and have my hair cut (eek! a new stylist touching my hair! but it's desperately needed) and try to fit in some "me-time", including doing some photography. And it's back to Weight Watchers on Tuesday!! I've been eating crap (= feeling like crap and gaining weight) and need to get motivated and back on track. I feel better physically and emotionally when I am eating right and I know how much attending the meetings motivates and uplifts me and makes me feel on track.

Speaking of uplifting, as bad as my mood has been and as grumpy as I've been, attending church today was so good for me. I felt peace for the first time this week, and for that I'm grateful. I'm looking forward to being more involved in the ward and making friends. Next Sunday we're having one of the families over for lunch, so that will be nice.

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