I just wanted to clarify my last post. I know how annoying it is when someone slim pinches an inch and goes, "Oh, I'm so faaaaat!" It's not like that at all.
I have gained back 25 of the 35 pounds I worked so hard to lose. That is cause for concern.
I am struggling to fit into most of my clothes. That is cause for concern.
I carry my weight around my middle and that is the most health-dangerous place to carry it. That is cause for concern.
I am 10.5lb over my healthy BMI range. That is cause for concern.
I am not setting a good example of healthy eating and weight management for my children. That is cause for concern.
I feel tired and grumpy all of the time due to what I've been putting into my mouth. That is cause for concern.
But most of all, the way I was out of control, the way I felt unable to say no to myself, scared me. The only difference between me and someone who weighs 300lb was time.
I watched a show the other day which showed a woman who was so obese that she couldn't even move off her bed. She lay sprawled naked on her bed with her acres of flesh pooling around her as if she was a wax candle that had melted. It was horrifying. In her interview she said, "You look at me and probably want to ask, 'How does someone let themselves get to this state?' And the answer is, 'slowly'."
My weight gain is the symptom. The problem has been the choices I've been making with regards to the things I've been eating. Too much sugar and too many refined carbs, not enough of the good things. That helpless feeling of being unable to make better choices, where the craving overwhelms the long term goals.
I've had to face up and draw a line. I'm drawing it now, and I'm determined to make better choices. Please don't think this is about any one of you, no matter how much bigger than me you are. It's about me, my choices, my endless struggle with food (I just like it too much!) That's one thing I've learned on my Weight Watchers journey - each one of us is on our own journey and it has nothing to do with anyone else's. We all have our own battles to fight. And I'm fighting mine.